Live Commentary: Glasgow 2014 - Opening Ceremony

Irn-Bru at the ready? Excellent. Welcome to our live coverage of the official opening of the Commonwealth Games. Basically the Olympics but with a much more exclusive guest list.

In case it had escaped your notice, Sports Mole is 100% live from Glasgow for the duration of the Games. We've got reporters stationed at all the key events around the city, so you'll be sure not to miss a single breast stroke if you keep it with us over the next couple weeks.

Tonight's opening ceremony is being held at Celtic Park, home of Scottish champions Celtic. Since the last football match was played there a little over two months ago, the Games team have been working tirelessly to transform the venue in time for tonight's show.

The show gets underway proper at 9pm and, while I'm not really allowed to say much about what happens yet, I'll tell you two things: Flags (LOTS of flags) and... well... BARROWMAN.

Yes, everyone's favourite Scottish-American hybrid will play a part in tonight's proceedings - and his big entrance will be nothing short of ridiculous.

As for the flags, thankfully there aren't quite as many to get through as the Olympics a couple years back. There are 71 nations competing in this year's Games, which will make for around an hour of uncut flag action.

As previously mentioned, Her Madge The Queen will be in attendance tonight to officially open the Games. How's she going to top that Olympics helicopter jump? Rumours are rife that a quad bike is involved.

Events begin to get underway tomorrow morning, with the first gold medal expected in the women's triathlon around lunchtime.

The previous Games were held in Dehli in 2010. Australia dominated the medals table, racking up 76 golds, double their nearest competitor India. England were a close third with 37 golds and an impressive 101 medals overall. As for current hosts Scotland, they finished tenth with nine golds and 27 medals overall.

If you're thinking of tuning in for The One Show's warm-up coverage, I'll save you the bother. Random guests are all variously "excited" by what's to come.

PM David Cameron has just been asked on The One Show about whether the Games could empower Scots to vote for independence. "I think today's not the day to talk about politics. I just hope it's a massive success. Obviously what's going to happen on September 18th is hugely important for Scots and I think they'll think very carefully about all the angles before they vote." That dose of seriousness is promptly countered by a video clip from first minister Alex Salmond challenging Camsy to a round of golf.

Gary Lineker, who's still suffering from his Rio sunburn, introduces the Beeb's real coverage, ably assisted by Hazel Irvine. Hazel claims that tickets for the Games could have been sold twice over - but that's not quite accurate, as it emerged earlier that as many as 60,000 tickets are still up for sale.

Huw Edwards is roaming around down at ground level of the stadium, lecturing the viewers about not getting too excited tonight. "We mustn't expect an event on the scale and the budget of London 2012," he warns us.

A bit of appreciation now for the journey of the Queen's Baton, which isn't a bad euphemism. The Commonwealth equivalent of the Olympic torch has been all over the globe for the last year, in the process passing a third of the world's population and being handed around tens of thousands of times. I just hope they used disinfectant wipes, else that baton is going to be in some state by the time it rocks up to Celtic Park tonight.

Team England are getting ready for their big entrance:

The #TeamEngland athletes are assembling at #TheLionsDen. Ready for tonight's #OpeningCeremony. #Glasgow2014 pic.twitter.com/StYLEv278k

— CommonwealthGamesENG (@weRengland) July 23, 2014

At the Olympics, Greece traditionally enter with their flag first, followed by all of the other nations alphabetically and finishing up with the host nation. Here at the Commonwealth, the order is determined by the order of the continents visited by the Queen's baton, alphabetically within each continent, and finishing up with Scotland.

The Isle of Man have decided to go for 'lolz' with their choice of outfit tonight, as revealed on Twitter by cyclist Jonny Bellis:

The Isle of Man team will certainly stand out tonight during the opening ceremony wearing these hats pic.twitter.com/3CzbWP9Nob — Jonny Bellis (@JonnyBellis) July 23, 2014

Just half an hour left now until we're underway. Backstage, Susan Boyle is warming up with leg stretches.

Clare Balding (who can give you a great discount code for a BT sport subscription if you ask her) is interviewing Baroness Tanni Grey-Thompson down at ground level. TGT is understandably gushing about the record number of parasport events being contested at this year's Games. A total of 22 will be contested across five sports, including the debut of para track cycling.

The only medals not being contested in Glasgow are in diving, which are instead taking place at the Royal Commonwealth Pool in Edinburgh next week. That means yet more travel for English hopeful Tom Daley, whose journey to Glasgow this week was delayed by a day when his plane from China was forced to make an emergency landing in Russia.

All stretched and good to go, SuBo is backstage chatting to Clare Balding. Their on-screen chemistry is just electric.

Daley Thompson is talking about his favourite sport at the Commonwealth Games. Any guesses? Women's netball.

Here we go! The opening ceremony is now underway. First up is 'Glasgow's Countdown', counting down from 14, with each number being represented by a different Glasgow community group.

Scottish comedian Karen Dunbar, who's come dressed as Annie Lennox, sings a ditty welcoming everyone to Scotland. It's a poor warmup act for the real star of the show, John Barrowman, who emerges from beneath a giant kilt.

Barrowman - an MBE, don't you know - sings a song about the geography of Scotland complete with Scottish accent.

People dressed as giant teacakes are bouncing up and down while Barrowman crowd-surfs across a field of heather. What sort of mind could even come up with this?

A tribute to the late, great cloned sheep Dolly is followed by Barrowman singing something about haggis and whisky. I'm not Scottish so I can't quite appreciate how a Scot might feel about this representation of their homeland, but I imagine the English equivalent would be Jamie Oliver coming out on the back of a minivan singing about his "pukka" fish and chips.

Barrowman ends his moment of glory by channeling the spirit of Lulu to declare "We-e-e-e-e-ll... come to Glasgow."

Update: Lulu is not, I repeat not, dead.

Video tape now of Amy Macdonald singing a cover of Rod Stewart's 'Rhythm of My Heart' in Glasgow's George Square. Somewhere in North Lanarkshire, Sharleen Spiteri is throwing neeps and tatties at her TV set.

Cut to Amy, now live in the stadium, continuing to sing. Hmm, she's looking a bit lonely up on stage...

Cue Rod! The Rodster. The Big Rod. He's out on stage to help Amy finish the song dressed in a very fancy, shiny grey suit.

Start of the serious bits now. Out come CGF president Prince Imran, Glasgow 2014 chairman Lord Smith and CGS chairman Michael Cavanagh. They're important people who do important things.

Now it's the turn of Susan 'have you seen my cat?' Boyle, who's here to introduce a very special guest through the medium of song.

That's right, Queenie is about to enter the stadium. Is it me or is that the sound of the quad bike revving up backstage?

The Red Arrows fly overhead as the Queen is driven into the stadium. Sadly not a quad bike, but a more traditional car. She's a vision in white tonight.

Robert Lovie sings the first verse of 'God Save The Queen'. It must be quite odd for the Queen, having a man sing a song about her, mere metres away from her face.

The Queen nips off to take her seat while a kilted man dances ballet-style with a woman to an ethereal version of Proclaimers classic 'I'm Gonna Be (500 Miles)'.

Scottish adventurer Mark Beaumont has collected the baton from a sea plane moored in the River Clude and is running with it towards Celtic Park. Back in the stadium, we're watching a vintage Andy Stewart performance.

Various people dressed in garish fluorescent outfits are playing what's essentially a giant game of musical chairs in the middle of the stadium. Time and a place, people!

The moment we've all been waiting for. Flags. First up is India, host of the last Games. "Watch out for them on the shooting range," warns Hazel.

As well as a flag, each country is entering the stadium with their own little Scottish terrier. WELL AREN'T THEY JUST THE CUTEST.

The Australian dog is the most sprightly of the bunch so far. That's ominous.

Big cheers as Ghana enter the stadium with a 109-strong team.

The lazy overweight dog assigned to Kenya is being carried around the stadium.

We're as far as Zambia. So much waving.

There are 71 nations but only 41 dogs! Some of the dogs are, I kid you not, having costume changes backstage.

According to my press pack: "There are so many stories behind our dogs, which have come from all over Scotland. One has his own Twitter account. Another is a TV celebrity."

Cayman Islands. "Massive tax haven," points out Huw. There you go, Cayman Islands, that's your achievement. Thanks Huw.

Only 16 countries left to go now! Meanwhile Nicole Scherzinger appears in a VT, flirting with underpriviliged children on behalf of UNICEF.

The poor dog representing Belize is practically dragged across the floor like a mop by his handler.

Finally, we're onto the last continent now - Europe!

Team England emerge into the stadium, led by flagbearer Nick Matthew from the squash team. Hugest cheer of the night so far.

Team Walespay homage to the host nation with a classy touch of tartan to their outfits.

Finally, now the night's biggest cheer for the host nation, Team Scotland! Kilts all round.

After a quick snooze backstage, Rod has returned for his encore. He sings 'Can't Stop Me Now', at first on stage, before heading down into the audience to mingle with the freshly-seated athletes.

Sir Chris Hoy and James McAvoy are in the stadium to encourage us to donate money to UNICEF. James is speaking with emphasis and conviction - you can practically feel the spit coming out of the screen.

A message from a trio of astronauts on-board the International Space Station is followed by a performance from violinist Nicola Benedetti as the "ceremonial flag" is carried into the stadium.

With the flag finally hoisted, Billy Connolly appears in a VT to pay tribute to the late Nelson Mandela.

More formalities now as an oath is read out by a collection of representatives for the athletes, coaches and technical officials. It all feels a bit Hunger Games.

Now time for some speeches. Wahoo!

First up, the first minister of Scotland Alex Salmond. "In a few minutes time we'll hear the words of Prince Imran as he introduces The Queen. He is not only president of the games federation, he's is the prince of Malaysia. In last week's disaster, 43 Malaysians died. Almost one third were members of the Commonwealth. Please stand as we observe a moment's silence in support and solidarity to the families of all those who lost their lives."

The entire stadium is silent.

Prince Imran: "In just a few moments, the 20th Commonwealth Games will begin. This is the culmination of a long journey which has seen so many people dedicate their hearts, passion and energy to win. I know very well the challenges that must be overcome to arrive at this moment, so my sincere thanks and respect to the entire team for bringing these games to fruition. Here we are, united once again as a Commonwealth family. Of you, proud athletes I ask that you strive to be role models for the youth of the commonwealth by competing with honour. Humanity, equality and destiny - these are the values we share. These are the values symbolised by our great tradition of the Queen's Baton Relay. Just one letter carrying one message but touched by thousands. The baton symbolises the core to our unique family of nations to join together at these Games."

The baton enters the stadium and the final baton carrier is revealed - Sir Chris Hoy.

Chris bounds up the stairs towards the royal box and delivers the baton to Prince Imran. Laughter as he struggles to get the message out. Chris gets involved and they still can't manage it.

Eventually the message is retrieved and a relieved Queen claps.

The Queen describes the journey of the baton, wishes all of the athletes well and formally declares the Games open. Huge applause as fireworks erupt over the stadium.

HUGE fireworks. The night sky is illuminated all over Glasgow as the opening ceremony comes to a close.

... which seems like a convenient juncture to end our commentary this evening. Thanks for joining us and remember, Sports Mole is completely live from Glasgow over the next 11 days, so keep it here and you won't miss a beat!